I’d like to start this post with an interesting report I came across recently. A 2004 study published in the American Sociological Review revealed that the average number of trusted friends fell by a third in the past 20 years and the proportion of people with no confidants had doubled. Doesn’t this report paint such a grim picture today? With the advent of social media, we’ve got fewer “trusted friends” than ever, what an irony, right?! In the past, friendship was so real, relevant and easy in a way so to speak. In this post-modern age, we all live in, it’s become a more complicated affair. With the plethora of online platforms available, we’ve changed the way we view and relate to people and more so, the friends we make.
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| Friends from School! Captured at a wedding… |
Friendship, it’s such a key component to life, isn’t it? Friends either propel you to your destiny or pull you back. The generation we live in, I believe needs some depth in understanding what friendship really means. Remember this lyric from the famous song Lean On ̶ “All we need is someone to lean on“… Even mainstream music culture seems to be calling out for true friendship. In this post, I’ll attempt to address this topic from all that I’ve experienced, observed and learnt over the years.
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| Friends from College! captured at our graduation in 2016… |
Proverbs 18:24 says – One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Before we go any further, I’d just want to start with this ̶ Jesus is our ultimate Friend. In John 15:15, Jesus himself said- “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you”. Imagine that, the creator of the universe would come down in human form and call us His friends. What a privilege! Now, we need to follow Christ’ example to be that friend… (see 1 Peter 2:21)
Here are a few insights I’d like to share on Friendship…
Love has to be the Root…
I really can’t think of building any sort of relationship without love being at the center. But the focus I want to bring out here is “What kind of love”? Love is such an abstract word today. We’ve lost the true meaning of love. I’m talking about “Christ-like love“, I’m sure you’ve heard of it, but I sense it’s absent in this day and age. In fact, the greatest command Jesus gave us revolves around this. (See Matthew 22:36–40). We view people with our own lens, and I think our lenses need some cleaning. We need some authentic and relevant Christ-like love in our midst. A love that is unending and forgiving. When we realize how much Christ can love a sinner like you and me, I think it’s only then we can learn to love like Jesus. We see so many people on the fringes of our Body because they don’t receive this kind of love. I personally have seen so many young people lost and alone because they’re either different or new. The truth is all of us are unique in our own way crafted by Jesus. Let’s change our lens, please?
Authenticity is key…
With the rise of social media, we live in a world of filters. This eventually spills out to our physical world too. In one report I read recently, most friendships start digitally, especially among teenagers. Most people view us through the various social media handles we have online. The real truth in most cases is that the life we portray online is like our highlight reel, we don’t really get to see reality. I mean everyone wants to show how perfect his/her life is to the world, right? However, true friendship involves being authentic with one another. It involves the good, bad and ugly. Now, I understand that we need to have boundaries, no doubt, that’s a topic in itself. However, no one’s perfect, we need to be a people that build friendships with the goal of getting to know one another. We don’t need surface level relationships anymore. Let’s open up, be free, be real and be authentic!
Point to Christ, always…
This is so important and crucial. We’re not here to save anybody, only Christ our Savior can do that. Let’s not play “God” in our friendships, we’re not here to solve every problem that our friends carry. In fact, all we have to do is to point our dear ones to Jesus. I just love this passage in Mark 2:1–5, here we see a paralytic in the midst of a crowd. There was no way he could get to Jesus. Yet, he had men around him that would do whatever it took to get him to “the solution“. They eventually make an opening through the roof and lower him down gently. Can you imagine the scene? It’s amazing! These men would stop at nothing! Jesus, on seeing their faith said- “Son, your sins are forgiven.” I’d like some friends like these men, that point to Christ, no matter what!
Bear with each other…
Here’s a reality check, all of us are broken! Yes, I repeat, all of us are broken in some way or the other, including me. We need to realize this Truth in our lives and with people around us. Also, all of us are at different levels in our Faith journey. I see a lot of young believers making fun of others just because their different? It is so crucial for us to understand this because we need to bear with one another. What do I mean by that exactly? We need to journey along with each other’s brokenness. It takes time to become whole and sanctified. It’s not easy, I understand, but let’s not just shrug it off aside as if it’s not worth it. Spend time with people, get to know them, understand them and more importantly, pray for them and be with them. I end this point with a verse of scripture from- Colossians 3:13–14 – Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Strengthen each other…
My last point is to build each other up in the likeness of Christ. We all have our individual calling, destiny and story. You can be that friend that either builds them up or pulls them down to this end. True friendship, I believe is when we can build people to their best. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says – “encourage one another and build each other up…”. We need to remind each other that we’re here to do something significant by God. Each of us are on a journey, let’s encourage each other when we’re down, let’s celebrate each other when we’ve reached a milestone. Remember that famous story in Acts 16? We see Paul & Silas at midnight praising God together even when they’re in chains and shackles. There’s a lesson for us to learn here, that together we would lift each other, even when all hope seems lost, I believe there is a blessing in doing so. We’re all called to build each other. Let’s build together.
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| Friends from Church! Captured on my Birthday… |
In conclusion…
We need some real friends to rise up among us. Friends are a treasure and gift from God. I hope you’ve been blessed with this short post. I know I can’t do justice to bring all the details to each point but I hope to have at least stirred something up within. You might be reading this and thinking ̶ well I can’t really find anyone like this, then my challenge to you is why don’t you be that friend to others. I believe this generation is crying out for some real friends. I myself am a work in progress and I strive to be that kind of friend.
“A True Friend Is The Greatest Of All Blessings”…
Thank you for reading. God Bless!
Amazing !
This is so true! Authentic friendship is hard to come by! Thank God we always have Him to lean on, no matter what, and for the amazing friends he sends our way 😍